Number 5 is about modeling self-compassion not self-judgment. Everyone has a voice inside their head that monitors their behavior. This voice is your conscience or if it gets nasty, we call it your inner critic. Are familiar with your inner critic? It likes to gives you a hard time for your behavior and loves the word should, “You should have been more kind,” “You shouldn’t have eaten all those cookies.”
Your inner critic spends a good deal of time blaming you for things and passing judgment on you. It tells you that,“You are not good enough as you are,” “You did something wrong,” and “You should be really embarrassed.”
In Step number 5 we talked about quieting a critical voice inside, now we’re going to help your child engage and listen to another voice inside, a very helpful voice -- intuition. The Voice by Shel Silverstein does a great job describing intuition:
Your intuition is connected to you at the deepest level. It is your judgment for what is right and wrong for you in a given situation. We want our children to stay in touch with their intuition because it acts in their best interest at all times.
You Don't Have to be Pretty . . . or Thin
You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend or spouse or partner, not to your co-workers or friends, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe prettiness to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not the rent you pay for occupying a space marked “female.”
Blogger, Erin McKean
With so much emphasis on how women's bodies appear to others in our Kardashian Culture it seems almost impossible maintain body confidence. The following four blogs discuss how to develop a positive body image in our crazy world.
The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA’s) defines positive body image:
- A clear, true perception of your shape--you see the various parts of your body as they really are.
- You appreciate your natural body shape and you understand that a person’s physical appearance says very little about their character and value as a person.
- You accept your unique body and refuse to spend an unreasonable amount of time worrying about food, weight, and calories.
- You feel comfortable and confident in your body.
We are not aware of most of our thoughts about our bodies. They live deep down, close to our idea of who we are at our core. When I lead Body Confidence Workshops, I ask attendees to go excavating: What are you saying to yourself when you look in the mirror? What about when you see a picture of yourself? What thoughts come up in when you are getting dressed, going to shower, or working out? Most women find they focus on one or two aspects of their body that really bother them.