Women who spend a large chunk of their lives weighing themselves, counting calories or carbs, and filtering much of their life experience through their body size or their weight could be using their preoccupation with food and their weight as a distraction from their real emotional life. Have you experienced women who are completely obsessed with diets or exercise? These women literally cannot focus on anything else? Their worry about body and eating -- often healthy eating -- can take up an incredible amount of mindshare. This obsessive use of food and eating often distracts them from other aspects of their lives that would be authentic and nourishing. A woman who thinks that her life will be perfect at a certain weight or dress size might be substituting the focus on their body and food for other issues in their lives.
With so much emphasis on women’s bodies in our culture, and with all the media images imposing a narrow standard for beauty, it might seem impossible to have and maintain a positive body image. The following four blogs in MyBodyImage discuss how to cultivate a positive body image using My Body Journal as a tool to help locate your thoughts around your body. These blogs build upon each other and discuss how to develop a positive body image with discussion and tools centered around the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA’s) definition of a “positive body image:”
Let's try to think about our own body shape and size. This will take some focus because we often are not aware of most of our own deeply held thoughts about our bodies. Your task in addressing a negative body image is to become familiar with unhelpful thoughts about your body that you are thinking deep down, so you can confront them. When they are left unattended, brewing below the surface of your mind, your thoughts can develop unmanaged as the years roll on.
We all know physical appearance is just a part of who you are. Clearly too much emphasis has been placed on appearance in today’s world. So, if appearance says little about your value as a person, what does say something about your character and value as a person to you? How do you define yourself? Is it in terms of being a loving mom? A kind friend? A competent athlete? Capable at your job? It is probably a combination of some of these things that make up how you define your whole person, your character and value.
Many women spend the healthy years we have being alive distracted from living because we feel shame about our bodies. Many women engage in a tremendous amount of self-judgment and self-punishment around food and weight. Even Oprah, one of the most successful women on the planet, probably goes to bed feeling guilty because of what she ate that day. Time spent being disappointed in yourself can be a remarkable time-sink in a person’s life. Research shows that the average women spends 31 years of her life dieting. How much time have you spent in past decades telling yourself that your body was flawed? Look at pictures of yourself from those olden days; do you now realize how wonderful you actually looked? From an objective vantage point, you can appreciate the smile on your younger face and look in your younger eyes, and not hone in on just how thin (or not) your legs looked.