My Body, My Self 


I get this all the time, actually. It comes from someone who reads MyBodyMySelf, comes to my talks, or has known me for a long time. Yes, I have this problem. I think I know why they are surprised.  We are talking about body image and eating behavior, and I am not carrying around a visible amount of extra fat, and I don’t have ribs sticking out of my back. So you can't see it. People say this to me because they believe what I am talking about is a visible problem. But the issue this blog addresses is mostly not visible. It is hidden inside our minds.

We all know physical appearance is just a part of who you are.  Clearly too much emphasis has been placed on appearance in today’s world. So, if appearance says little about your value as a person, what does say something about your character and value as a person to you?  How do you define yourself?  Is it in terms of being a loving mom?  A kind friend?  A competent athlete? Capable at your job? It is probably a combination of some of these things that make up how you define your whole person, your character and value.  

Many women spend the healthy years we have being alive distracted from living because we feel shame about our bodies. Many women engage in a tremendous amount of self-judgment and self-punishment around food and weight. Even Oprah, one of the most successful women on the planet, probably goes to bed feeling guilty because of what she ate that day. Time spent being disappointed in yourself can be a remarkable time-sink in a person’s life.  Research shows that the average women spends 31 years of her life dieting. How much time have you spent in past decades telling yourself that your body was flawed? Look at pictures of yourself from those olden days; do you now realize how wonderful you actually looked? From an objective vantage point, you can appreciate the smile on your younger face and look in your younger eyes, and not hone in on just how thin (or not) your legs looked.